vegetable frittata

vegetable frittata

A friend of mine, shortly after high school, asked me if it ever bothered me that I was fat. The thought had never really occurred to me, I had been overweight nearly my entire life. I like to tease that I simply don’t have a metabolism, but between lifestyle choices and a genetic propensity to pack on and keep the pounds, I found myself nearly 70 pounds overweight by the end of high school, so the question my friend asked was not entirely out of left field. I don’t ever remember actually feeling fat or different than anyone else during my adolescent years. This could of course be selective memory, but I remember feeling well liked by everyone. I had friends in every circle and was never once taunted because of my weight.

veggie frittata-2

Being overweight looks like a physical battle from the outside, but in reality it is an emotional battle most of the time. Every day, my least favorite thing to do is get dressed. I used to work in a hospital, so I would wear scrubs every day. They are baggy and shapeless, which for me, was perfect. It seems counter intuitive to want to wear clothes that make you look bigger but the more I can cover up, the better. Two of my closest friends point out every summer that I have a serious deficit of summer clothes in my closet. That’s because I hate to wear clothes that show my arms or legs. I much prefer the seasons which allow me to bundle up with bulky sweaters, scarves and long pants.

I was married to my best friend in the spring of 2009. A couple years before I met my husband I lost about 40 pounds with the help of Weight Watchers. When we got engaged in December of 2008, I knew I had a very limited time to get to a weight where I was comfortable enough to be photographed. These pictures would be something we would look back on for the rest of our lives and I wanted to really enjoy looking at them.  During our short four month engagement, I went back to Weight Watchers and started biking a lot. I lost another 20 pounds and was 142 pounds on the day of my wedding. Although I don’t think the number is as important as the way I felt, it’s a place I now look back on as a goal for myself. On the day of my wedding, I felt beautiful and I was even showing my arms.

veggie frittata-3

As most women do, I gained weight over the course of our marriage as I became comfortable and happy in my new life. I started to learn to cook and bake and realized I really enjoyed both. I wanted to learn as much as I could, so without regard to the healthfulness of what I was making, I cooked and baked my heart out. (I’m pretty sure I am responsible for several close friends gaining weight during this time as well, so if that’s you, I’m sorry!) All in all I gained back 30 pounds while I ate my way through every good thing. That sure was easy and delicious.

Last summer I found out I was pregnant with our son. I was no where near the weight I hoped I would be when I became pregnant but at that point there wasn’t much I could do. During the course of my pregnancy I gained about 50 pounds and at full term, I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. I’m just glad I had a fairly good reason for the weight gain besides far too many croissants.

Currently, I am 40 pounds heavier than my wedding day and I still hate getting dressed in the morning. I wear leggings and nursing tanks most of time and even when it’s warm, I prefer to have on long sleeves. I am learning what it means to have a balanced and healthy lifestyle without compromising my love for food. I refuse to eat ‘diet’ food because who wants to eat poached chicken breasts and steamed vegetables? If I am to live a healthy lifestyle it has to be sustainable. It can not be a crash diet or something I’m going to struggle through until I meet my goal weight. It has to be a lifestyle change, for life. 

I returned to Weight Watchers last week with renewed resolve and already my efforts are paying off. I lost nearly four pounds my first week and I look forward to stepping on the scale next time. My hope is that I will find myself at a point where I can enjoy going into my closet in the morning and that I can again, feel like the best version of myself, inside and out.  (more…)

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August 1, 2013. breakfast, eggs, quick and easy. 3 comments.